House Me

House Me was born as a drunken jest at GemStone's VegasCon 2003, I became slightly inebriated (although, with my half-Asian genes, that constitutes little more than sniffing a beer) and began furiously ranting about the idiocy of "House Dreadnaught," which I attacked at the time as little more than a duelists club that existed to glorify its president-- little better than the Northern Furries. Er, Fury. Now that I'm a bit more sober, I recall that I have friends in those aforementioned Houses. Er, *had* friends. I need to watch my mouth.

Anyway. I figured that if a self-aggrandizing concept such as House Dreadnaught would work, so would "House Me," dedicated solely to the wonder that is Tierus Morvaenus. This site contains information on House Me. I might some day go ahead and make it into a PRO, just for craps and giggles. In order to accomplish that goal, I intend to invite most of the GameMasters to become members. After all, how can they not approve it if I order them to do so?

The Charter Rules of House Me:

Charter Rule 1: Tierus is always right.
Charter Rule 2: Any precedent or subsequent rules modifying Tierus's permanent rightness are invalidated. No precedent or subsequent rules may alter this rule, however cleverly worded.
Charter Rule 3: Do unto Tierus as you would have him do unto you. Tierus is not required to do unto you, but may, without any prior doing, do so.
Charter Rule 4: No dogs allowed (or birds.) Snoopy is allowed, being a cartoon dog.
Charter Rule 5: The capacity for snide jokes is a requisite of House Me. Acting like Brauden is not.
Charter Rule 6: House Me holds free presidential elections. The office of the President must be filled by a member named Tierus.
Charter Rule 7: House Me is like the Hotel California. You may sign out any time you like*, but you may never leave.
Charter Rule 8: No members of House Me may change their name to Tierus, and no children of members may be named Tierus.
Charter Rule 9: No future inductees of House Me may be named Tierus.
Charter Rule 10: Kristin, Adam, Lisa, Marsha, and Brian are charter members of House Me. Neil is also a charter member because Lisa would have no members to fantasize about otherwise. Greg, Dalboz, and Eugenides are charter acolytes. Some of the aforementioned are no longer active.
Charter Rule 11: Those disagreeing with the rights of House Me to organize rule over the universe and its laws are to be summarily executed.

Laws of House Me:

Law 1: "Christian Love" does not exist in House Me, because most of its members are probably going to Hell for the repeated Slayings of the Q.
Law 2: Thou shalt not screw with the scotch.
Law 3: All members questioning Tierus's sexuality will be subjected to said sexuality. All members.
Law 4: Ambien is the official drug of House Me. Any outside parties providing House Me with Ambien may be instantly ratified as full members of House Me.
Law 5: The official House Me anthem, "Jesus is a Fish," shall be composed by Shiril.
Law 6: House Me's governing body currently consists of one member: the President. His cabinet consists of six positions: "Left Hand of Death," "Right Hand of Favoritism," "High Potentate Evil Albino," "Mistress of the Salsa," and "Perennial Convention Roommate." Cabinet positions may be created, destroyed, or changed at any time without notification to involved parties.
Law 7: All wine must be opened sexily in House Me.
THE COOLEST LAW--Law 8: House Me shall be dedicated to the destruction of all things sugary-sweet and/or Disneyfied in Elanthia. This includes such concepts as "jokes of the day" or "Christian love," the latter of which does not exist in Elanthia except in the cases of Koarite priests and their young acolytes.
Law 9: Law 8 shall henceforth be known as THE COOLEST LAW, in capital letters.
Law 10: Despite the misleading name of the Ruling Triumvirate of House Me, Tierus still rules. Humbly.
Law 11: Although the High President of House Me has the right to induct or excise members at any time, a proper ceremony should be conducted for inducting new members. The ceremony should consist of the Ruling Triumvirate of House Me and all previously inducted members.
Law 12: House Me is allied with all parties that have lightning, fireball, and instant death powers, and all rumors of House Me members making use of such powers are to be summarily denied. (See Law 14.)
Law 13: The membership of House Me shall be listed below the final law of House Me.
Law 14: House Me would never lie to you, because doing so would be against Law 14.
Law 15: Any matters of hurt feelings between members of House Me and non-members shall be instantly resolved on the grounds that only members of House Me may possess feelings.
Law 16: House Me is an equal opportunity organization: all non-members have an equal opportunity to remain that way. However, House Me parties are--by regulation--open to non-members, no matter their comparative potential inferiority.

Full Members of House Me:

Tierus/Chris - High President of House Me
Naessi/Kristin - Left Hand of Death
Shiril/Lisa - Right Hand of Favoritism
Sepher/Brian - High Potentate Evil Albino
Satira/Coley - Colita, Mistress of the Salsa
Shonison/Jim - Slayer of the Q
Adam - Perennial Convention Roommate
Evelith/Sarah - Chief Sleeps with Bears
Rencelas/Jason - Master of Chicks With Dicks
Courtney - Omega Q-Slayer Queen of Mean
Shawn - Wearer of the Furbelt
Raelee/Susan - Keeper the O Rly Eyries
Eiadh/Heather - Steve, Resident Cat Woman

Acolytes of House Me (Collectively, the Acolytes of Teh.)

Dalboz/Jason - Infector of the Faith
Hugh - The Douchelord
Marsha - French Toastweaver
That Dude From Kristin's House - House Wine Opener
 Eugenides/Brad – Dhe'nar Seed Receptacle
Kyirin/Rey – Muffy the Zombie Slayer

*Attempting to sign out of House Me may cause death or violation.

Why, you're headed Elsewhere.